I was going through something last December and you know how it is when things get hard, you would want to make sense of it all. On one of the harder days, I would run through my mental list of whys in prayer. I would weep while I waited for answers, until one day He gently replied: “Why not?”
Everything was easier, much lighter from that point on.
I was reminded of that moment again Thursday last week at one of our equipping sessions. We were on our last session and we were talking about How to Stay Strong to the Finish. During the Q&A, our speaker was asked to share a moment where he got to his lowest point in ministry. He began to talk about that time where he and his family went through a really tough time. (I would have written the story here, but I have yet to ask for permission if that could be released publicly.)
One day, a nurse approached him at three in the morning and asked, “You’re a pastor, right? Aren’t you wondering why this is happening to you?”
He paused for a while and then replied, “You know what? I thought about that too. I’ve asked God, why?” But then, considering the gravity of the situation and thinking of the moral fortitude and spiritual strength needed to go through it, he said, “Lord, why not me? Let me go through this. Let me go through this.”
That night, he cried hard at the thought that he has served God for years and yet, he knew he doesn’t have the right to ask that question. And so, instead of asking why, he asked, “Why not me? Give this trial to me.” Such heart, such posture has enabled him to enjoy all the days that followed.
God taught me just that on the day I asked my last “why”. I had to understand that I am to only receive from Him – receive not just the good and the pleasant, but also the challenging, the hard, the painful. Because more often than not, it is in trial that our faith is most strengthened and it is in the tougher times that we are most changed.
Everything was easier, not devoid of tears, but much lighter from that point on. A month later, still overwhelmed with the beauty of that moment, I wrote:
Should you ever ask why you are where you are at this moment, remember that the One who has loved you with an everlasting love is Lord of over each passing day. When the rough times come, try to say, “Why not me, Lord? Let me go through this. Let me take this adventure with you.”
Easier said than done, you’d think. But hey, why not, right?