Having to sign the contract told me one thing - I'm in big trouble!
Having to sign the contract told me one thing – I’m in big trouble!

Don’t get me wrong. I love my friends and I can feel (I hope I am not being too assuming) that they love me too. But as trust is the foundation of all relationships and it appears that we trust each other too much, the send-off party they threw for me turned out to be so crazy, I kinda thought of walking out in the middle of it! Haha!

A few days earlier, I was asked to free up my schedule on the evening of January 1st. We met up at Bo’s Coffee in Torres. Most of them were already there when I arrived. A few minutes later, Jem (the culprit :P) asked everyone to settle down so we can get on with the program.

The first activity was for me to sign a printed document they have, oddly enough, decided to call an “Affidavit of Waiver.” Here’s the document’s content:

I, EMMANUELLE GOMEZ, of illegal age, Filipino, a resident of somewhere really far, tuyu-on, & subidahon, a mother of none, a daughter of BING GOMEZ, after having been duly sworn in accordance with grace (not law) do hereby waive the right to:

1. be offended by the questions/comments/unsolicited advices during the event, and will choose to forgive even before the offense was done;

2. use this event or any of the questions/comments/jokes against the hosts, participants & spectators in court, or even in heaven;

3. walk out in the middle of the event;

4. use Bing Gomez, my mother, as defense;

5. use Raquel Pedida, the mother of the host, as defense;

6. hurt all the participants especially the hosts;

7. remain silent & not answer the questions being asked of me;

8. end any of the relationships with any of the guests or participants of this event;

9. extract vengeance on anyone involved in this event;

10. edit or critique this waiver just because of preferences or grammatical error;

11. speak against the participants and the hosts in this event;

12. change my mind and cancel my flight on January 5, 2013 just because I will be missing all the participants of this event…

All these because “It is to [your] glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11)

The Contract
The contract.

I then realized why they had to make me sign the waiver when they started facilitating their modified true or false. They prepared questions and numbered it from 1 to 22 and then distributed it to everyone who was there. The rule was for me to answer the questions the best way I can (with or without malice) and they get to decide whether they’re satisfied with the answer or not. If it is the latter, I get to do a consequence. Sweet, huh?

Here are the questions they tortured me with:

1) Ano ba talaga ang nangyari?
2) Yan! Bakit kasi … ?
3) Di ba sabi sa ‘yo ___________ (give an unsolicited advice)
4) Ano ba talaga? Ikaw ang nang-iwan o ikaw ang iniwan? Bakit?
5) Owws?? Talaga?? 
Eh, bakit sabi mo dati na _______ (person who asks the question gets to fill in the blank)
6) Magbinisaya ta… Unsay makapabalik nimo sa Davao?
Transalation: Mag-Bisaya tayo. Ano ang makakapagpabalik sa’yo sa Davao?
7) Naa pa kaya’y chance na ______(person who asks the question gets to fill in the blank)
Translation: Meron pa kayang chance na _______?
8) Of all places, bakit sa Manila pa talaga? Alam mo naman na _______ (person who asks the question gets to fill in the blank)
9) If ever __________________, mosugot ka? Ngano man?
Translation: If ever ________________, papayag ka ba? Bakit? (person who asks the question gets to fill in the blank)

10) Sa tinuod lang, nalipay ka sa among ginabuhat?
Translation: Yung totoo, gusto mo ba ang ginagawa natin?

11) Nagka-transaction ka na ba sa ONB?
12) Bakit sa ONB? o Bakit hindi sa ONB? (choose 1 depending on Emz’s answer to the previous question)
13) Ano ang meron sa Kangaroo na wala sa ibang coffee shops?
14) Ano ang pinaka masakit na sinabi sayo ni
A) Tita Bing  
B) Pstr Alvin
C) That Guy
(choose one)
15) Ano ang pinaka masakit na sinabi sayo ni
A) Tita Bing 
B) Pastor Alvin
C) That Guy
(choose one)

16) Ano ang gusto mong marinig galing kay A,B,C (depending on previous answer)
17) Based on what’s happening right now, what are you learning?
18-20)singer man gyud ka anong kanta ang gusto mong idedicate kay A,B,C? – pili ra ug usa
Translation: Since singer ka naman, anong kanta ang gusto mong i-dedicate kay
A) Tita Bing 
B) Pastor Alvin 
C) That Guy
(choose one)
21) Based on what happened, what have you learned
22) Kung ikaw ang pabut-on, unsa imong ganahan na farewell party?
Translation: Kung may choice ka, paano ang gusto mong farewell party?

Good thing I chanced upon a post a few days earlier that said, “Love is giving up your right to be right.” So, while I believe that I’m right when I’d say this is not the right way to treat a friend, I’d still choose love. 😛

They honored and prayed for me after putting on the hot seat. But yeah, I’d say that was the most memorable send-off ever! 

My "friends" :P
My “friends” 😛

And oh, it may not seem like it but I do miss you guys a lot! See you soon! 🙂

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