mumbling all the way

Exploring Expendability

1 result for: expendable
   Synonym Collection v1.1  
Main Entry:   expendable
Part of Speech:   adjective
Synonyms:   disposable, excessnonessential, replaceable


Sad reality: You get better treatment when you are of great help. 

That is one thing that has been made clear to me the past few days. People will be nice to you when they get something out of you. They would have the tendency to squeeze out the best in you even when you barely have anything more to give. 

I have known people who have treated me well when I was overly alive and enthusiastic about anything and everything. Those were the times when i felt like i could never tire myself out. The people have, in turn, appeared to be overly generous, understanding, and accomodating – I was so sure they would still be there when I get to the point of burn out.

Things have not turned out the way i thought they would though.

They haven’t entirely left me…they only made me feel expendable. I only needed space and time. I only wanted air to breathe. But it seems like they have focused on the duties that i am unable to perform.If this is their way of getting me into shape again, then I would have to say that the manner is most uneffective.

Whatever happened to love and acceptance and understanding? Where have all the goodness gone? 

Is this guilt? Is this just me?

Perhaps I am just taking things on a different light or maybe it’s about time to think about the authenticity of the relationships that i have gotten myself into.


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