Is there anyone that fails

Is there anyone that falls

Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Cause when I take a look around

Everybody seems so strong

I know they’ll soon discover

That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay

If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too

So with a painted grin, I play the part again

So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people

Under shiny plastic steeples

With walls around our weakness

And smiles to hide our pain

But if the invitation’s open

To every heart that has been broken

Maybe then we close the curtain

On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who’s been there

Are there any hands to raise

Am I the only one who’s traded

In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing

And we know every line by heart

Only when no one is watching

Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free

If I dared to let you see

The truth behind the person

That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open

Or would you walk away

Would the love of Jesus

Be enough to make you stay

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You’re making me
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You’ll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You’re by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I’m caught in the middle

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
And weakness or trial or pain
There is faith proved more worth than gold
So refine me lord through the faith

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and he is here

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and he is here

And this is my prayer in the harvest
And favor and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be empties again
The seed I receive I will sow

I came up with this song about a month ago. This was when I felt like the music that I am singing for Him didn’t sound right and no matter how I tuned my guitar, it seemed to give off the wrong notes. I felt bad. I felt like what I was offering Him was substandard. I longed to give Him the best because that is what He deserved. In my desperation, He reminded me of 1 Samuel 16:7. “For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”

When the music seems so loud
and the words are coming out empty
Lord I know You hear beyond the sound

When the song I sing for you
Seem so out of tune
Lord I know You see what’s in my heart

Still I will sing to You
Lord I will sing to You
I will give You praise
to You my voice I raise

I will sing to You
Lord I will sing to You
I will praise You Lord
with the music of my heart

When praising you just feels so hard
Still I will sing for You
Lord I know You see beyond what they see in me

Still I will sing to You
Lord I will sing to You
I will give You praise
to You my voice I raise

I will sing to You
Lord I will sing to You
I will praise You Lord
with the music of my heart

Coda:

I will sing with all my heart
I will praise with all my heart
I will worship you with all that I am
And Lord I will, I will make music with my heart

I came up with this song on Saturday night (March 28). It was one of those times when I felt really exhausted and depressed. The week was a tough one as it made me face the realities of life… and death. I still do not know what to call this song but it is, in itself, complete. I cannot just yet post the recorded version but I will do sometime soon.

In the darkness
You are my light
and knowing that You’re here with me
I know I can always stand secure

In pain and sorrow
You are my strength
and knowing that You’re here with me
I know I can always stand and fight

Pre-chorus:

I will stand and fight the fight of faith
and though I know it won’t be easy
I will cling unto Your promise
that You will never, ever leave me

Chorus:

I will run and not grow tired
I will walk and not be faint
I will soar on wings like eagles
And I will never be afraid
I will put my hope in You
Knowing that Your Word is truth
I am strong when I’m at my weakest
‘Coz Lord I know Your love is there to see me through

Bridge:

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
There is none that I will fear
For You make my paths clear

I will praise you, Lord my God 

Even in my brokeness 

I will praise you Lord 

I will praise you, Lord my God 

Even in my desperation 

I will praise you Lord 

And I can´t understand 

All that you alllow

I just can´t see the reason 

but my life is in your hands 

                                    and through I cannot see you

                                                I choose to trust you 

Even when my hearts is torn 

I will trust you Lord 

Even when I feel deserted 

I will trust you Lord 

Even in the darkest valley 

I will trust you Lord 

and when it seems all hope is gone 

yet I will praise you Lord 

I will trust you Lord my God

Even in my loneliness 

I will trust you Lord 

And I will not forget 

that you hung on a cross 

Lord you bled and died for me 

and if I have to suffer 

I know that you´ve been there 

and I know that you´re here now

If shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine

If it had a home would it be my eyes

Would you believe me if I said I am tired of this

Well here we go one more time I tried to climb your steps

I tried to chase you down

I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground

I tried to earn my way

I tried to change this mind

You better believe that I tried to beat this 

So when will this end

It goes on and on

And over and over and over again

Keep spinning around I know that it wont stop

Till I step down from this for good

I never thought Id end up here

I never thought Id be standing where I am

I guess I kind of thought it would be easier than this

I guess I was wrong now one more time

Cause I tried to climb your steps

I tried to chase you down

I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground

I tried to earn my way

I tried to change this mind

You better believe that I tried to beat this,

So when will this end

It goes on and on

And over and over and over again

Keep spinning around I know that it wont stop

Till I step down from this

Sick cycle carousel, this is a sick cycle, yeah

Sick cycle carousel

This is a sick cycle yeah

So when will this end

It goes on and on

And over and over and over again

Keep spinning around I know that it wont stop

Till I step down from this for good

When will this end

It goes on and on

And over and over and over again

Keep spinning around I know that it wont stop

Till I step down from this for good

Sick cycle carousel

Sick cycle carousel

Sick cycle carousel

Sick cycle carousel

Sick cycle carousel

Sick cycle carousel

Sick cycle carousel

I cant be losing sleep over this, no I cant
And now I can not stop pacing
Give me a few hours, Ill have all this sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

Cause I cannot stand still
I cant be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

This is over my head but underneath my feet
Cuz by tomorrow morning Ill have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

Cuz Im waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And Im somewhere in between
What is real, and just a dream
What is real, and just a dream
What is real, and just a dream

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Dont be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again
I dont want to run away from this
I know that I just dont need this

Cause I cannot stand still
I cant be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

Cuz Im waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And Im somewhere in between
What is real, and just a dream
What is real, and just a dream
What is real, and just a dream